I hate making post titles

I’m so uncreative. So many people probably wonder why I even have a blog. The reason is because I like to talk, even if it’s essentially just to myself!

I’m just writing a little update on life, which will include my weight loss journey and uni so far. 🙂

My weight loss journey is actually going really well. In June I attempted to do Junk Free June, but my own version of it – which was just to try and cut out as much sugar as I could. Not entirely – I have a slight sugar addiction and didn’t want to end up cranky and yelling at everyone. But I only had maybe one teaspoon of sugar on my oats, on one day, or I had a normal coffee from the cafe instead of a flavored one (we don’t have sugar free syrups in NZ like many American Starbucks do). I think I did well. I would say I slipped up a couple of times – having a slice of cake or an energy drink because I just wanted to feel happy on that day. Nothing negative happened, just letting myself down a little on those days.

I’ve become so bad at tracking my food intake. I track it in my head – so I know roughly what I am consuming, but I need to start going strict CICO again by counting on MFP properly. It’s time consuming, but it’s worth it! Especially when you forget you’ve had that 500 calorie “snack” and you’re about to help yourself to dessert!

Here are my current stats for my weight loss and lifting, I’m really happy that I kept losing through June, and even through the Friday after Junk Free June where I went a little overboard on beer and dessert at the working mans club.

  • SW: ??
  • PW: 120.5kg
  • CW: 116.6kg
  • GW: ~60kg. I’d be happy under a size 14 to be honest, no matter what the weight
  • Current squat: 90kg
  • Current Deadlift: 60kg
  • Bench: 50kg

I am surprised I managed to hit 50kg on my bench. My arms are so weak, but it’s awesome that they are gaining strength. I’ll probably stay around 50kg bench for awhile, work on form and not move up until I can confidently bench that weight every day (some days my arms feel super weak and I can only do ~45kg).

I’m super proud of my squat. i think it was a long time coming! I have massive strength in my legs, it’s just that I’m scared of hurting myself. I finally have an appointment with a trainer who can hopefully help with my form.

I also did two runs this week, as part of Couch to Five Ks (C25k).  You can follow my runs on Strava if you have it! I’m enjoying running (well, walk running, so far) more then I used to, which is great! I’ve finally tried out “fasted cardio” which means doing something cardio (IE: Running in this case) before eating. it’s fantastic! I don’t get cramps or feel bloated or anything.

University wise? Where to begin. It’s been awhile since I’ve really talked about this topic. Last semester was…. a mess to say the least. Well one class was.  Lets put it this way: Throughout my entire degree (the current one, anyway…) I’ve passed everything. I’ve never had a lecturer say “your writing is shit”. I’ve never had a lecturer ask “how did you all get this far?”. Not until this semester, when it seems the majority of the class was pulled up on their writing.

Now, lets get personal for a minute. I only took this class because I was forced. I didn’t want to take the class. I didn’t need to take the class. I had no interest in doing anything related to this class in my career. It was not a class that was mandatory for my degree. However, in typical Lincoln fashion, a highly important Environmental law paper was cancelled one week out from uni starting. I needed one more 200 or 300 level paper. I was furious. I had no interest in any other paper. I didn’t have the required prereqs for classes that other suggested were “easy”, I wanted to take a paper relivent in some way to my degree. This was the only one.

I knew the lecturer. Three years ago she suggested I drop out of university when I came to her asking where Environmental Management and Planning paper would take me after I had failed a science heavy first year of another degree. “some people aren’t cut out for it”. “Why don’t you apply for the jobs you want without a degree?”.

Well. This year I applied for the jobs (graduate position) I wanted with a *different* degree to the one they required and they replied with “Your C.V is amazing. You have relivent experience. However you don’t have the correct degree”.  And this woman wanted me to apply without a degree, three years ago?

I get it. Some people are not cut out for uni. I often think of myself as one of them. But I cannot handle one more year of retail-type customer service. What is there between “lower” end jobs like customer service, and “higher” up jobs like the ones I want? Not only that, but I am passionate about the environment. Hence I have pushed myself to study more, I have tried harder then most have had to so I can understand the content.

So, I went into this class knowing this lecturer thought I was some low class citizen who should be flipping burgers. That was probably issue number one. I should have been confident, I should have thought “I’ll show this woman!”. But I didn’t.

The second issue is… last semester I was sick a lot. There was nothing I can do about it. I don’t want to pass my germs around, so I try not to go to classes if I can avoid it. As a result, the lecturer essentially handed out the exam questions and I missed them all. That’s right. I happened to miss most classes that had exams “tips” (cheats, more like) in them. I’m not saying she did that on purpose, she seems like a lovely lady aside from the suggested I drop out of university. But how the fuck is that fair? I suffer because of something I literally cannot help>? Provide a toilet in the class and I will gladly vomit / poop if it means you’re going to give me the exact questions for the exam.

The third issue: Not my fault at all. As I said in the beginning, the entire class was sat down and told we sucked, basically. Our writing was shit. “how’d we get this far?” Simple. Lincoln is all about the money. Push the students through. Source? Linc tutors who have told me they cannot grade people 0.  Oh yeah. So maybe I am shit at writing, but Lincoln wants my money. And god damn it I’m going to get my degree. That is NOT fair to have a lecturer who is so…. “higher then everyone else” in a THIRD YEAR PAPER. She should be on first year paper. In the first semester. So you don’t waste money. You think I’m going to pay $40k+ only to come to my last year and fail? Typical Lincoln money grab.

Unfortunately, they bought the LAW paper back AFTER the cut off date for dropping out of classes. So I’m paying for this class I have no interest in, is WAY TOO “theory” based, has a lecturer who thinks she’s on another level (and she may well be, but I certainly will never be on her level) and I fail. I get a 40/100 overall. AND I still have to pay for the LAW paper because I failed the other paper and need the credit still.

Aside from that, uni has been great! I pass everything (aside from that class) with a C+ or B+~ I’m in my last semester, I’m on the Maori Student executive, and… yeah. Shit is going to get busy because I have a full course load, I’m working 3x a week, a have a project based class and of course lots of things with the Maori Student Assoc.

 

Right now though? I’m really sick. My chest is playing up…. It keeps hurting, and then going away. but right now it hurts like hell, even to breath in. oh gosh. 🙁 I think I’ll go to bed.

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